Friday, October 18, 2013
JUST VENTING A BIT....
My husband, Stu is retiring in November (that's a whole other story about how I'm feeling about that!). Anyway, I retired from my job when Brady was an infant to take care of him so my daughter could work. Brady is now 9-1/2 and I'm his only mother -which I wouldn't trade for the world. Stu has worked hard our married life and gets to retire, which he definitely deserves. He plans to play golf, take piano lessons, whatever he'd like. If I was truly retired, I could also do desired activities within reason and without explanation. But I can't because I have to get a babysitter to cover my time away. Stu will do it but with a schedule and restrictions. I want to audition for two overlapping shows because the parts in them are dream parts. That means I'm gone 3 -maybe 4- nights a week for a few months. If I was retired I'd have that freedom with no questions asked. But, I'm raising a child. Consequently, I have to lean on Stu if I want to "feel" retired. I'll be in this position until Brady's off to college. By then, there'll be no stage roles for someone that age. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
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I feel like this every day. My husband complains that he's tired after work and wants to come home and relax. WHAT IS THAT?? I don't work outside the home. He works 10-16 hours a day and I know he's tired, but with a 10month old, I WORK 24/7 !! I don't get days off, down time or anything else. Some days I'm so resentful of my husband it's palpable. I never thought raising my child's child at my age would be this hard, but to add to it I feel like a single parent all over again. That was hard enough in my 20's but in my 40's?? My "support" system cannot relate so it's nice to know I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteThank you for responding. Now, I don't feel so alone, either. There was a time I was away from home for 2 days when my kids were young and my husband took over. When I got back, he was bowing at my feet saying he didn't realize how much I did in a day. Wish he'd remember that feeling! But, being in his 60's, he can't remember what I told him 2 minutes ago! Men!
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