Two at Once

I'm sorry I haven't felt like posting. The death of my mom brought up the death of my daughter. When mourning my mom, it occurred to me that I never took the time to mourn my daughter. She passed 4-1/2 years ago but I was so immersed in raising her little boy, trying to stay strong and positive that I neglected something very important. Of course, at the time of her passing, I was distraught but also angry at her disease and what it took from our family. I blamed her at the time and not the disease. Through my relationship with a site called "The Addict's Mom," I've learned so much, especially about loving and about forgiveness. now I'm ready to mourn her in the way she deserved. My mom's death was shocking and no one wants to lose a mother. However, it brought me closer to my daughter and to myself. I am saying the mourner's kaddish for two, I am grateful to have had them in my life and it's making me whole.